The Struggles of Married Life

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The Struggles of Life

Hello friend and welcome,

My name is Clayton Mekelburg,

I am the father of 6, grandfather of 14 and the great grandfather of 4.

I have been married to the same lovely woman, my wife Betty now for 55 years.

In life today, we are faced with a multitude of problems that tend to destroy our family relationships and challenge our belief in God and His mercy. We see this in our every day lives as we hear more and more of families being separated by divorce.

It also brings to mind the question of our faith in God and the true meaning of Romans 8;28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Hebrews 11;1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrews 4;16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

So it was then with us and sometimes still is in our lives.

In looking back on it all, I have two questions to ask. Was it a blessing? Or was it a curse?

I think you will find the answer inside these pages.

The Struggles Of Life

The things I have written in this book were written during the time I was separated from my wife and family while being heart broken and confronted with divorce.

I have put it in book form in the hopes that it might give some insight and hope to others that are now having or have gone thru the terrible struggles that we are sometimes confronted with in married life and that it might encourage them to trust in God and deny the means that Satan uses in his attempt to destroy our marriages and families.

The Unexpected Happens:

At age 64, and being married for 43 years with 5 living children and 18 grandchildren, one day it seemed as though the devil himself had moved in to destroy our lives together.

As a husband, I had never considered divorce or separation as really something that would ever happen in my life.

Don’t get me wrong, over the past 43 years my wife and I have had plenty of disagreements and arguments over various situations as I am sure most married couples have. But divorce! Not on your life.

Then one day unexpectedly I was alone and confronted with a notice that my marriage was to be over and divorce was immanent.

Then came the good news!

In the state of Colorado, you cannot contest a divorce proceeding. You can only by law, contest the monetary settlement and child custody issues. Thank God, our children were grown and we had little financial worth.

What could I do?

Being a good problem solver and fixer up of things, or I thought I was, I tried to contact my wife and convince her that we could work things out.

The next exciting thing that happened was a restraining order prohibiting me from making any kind of contact with my wife including phone calls and notification that she was filing for divorce. Pretty exciting wouldn’t you say?

If there are any kinds of hell on earth, I think there are two, the separation of a person from God, secondly a man or woman separated from their mate and family.

As a Christian, I decided that I could not only get the brothers and sisters (other church members) to pray for me, but I could ask them to approach my wife and try to convince her to change her mind.

They agreed to pray for me but felt that by contacting my wife they would be breaking the restraining order and suggested that I wait on the Lord and be patient. (I was not a Patient Man, but am more so now)

After spending a night in jail for talking to my wife on the telephone, I became acutely aware of being on the outside looking in and being overcome with a terrible feeling of helplessness.

As I said, patience is not one of my greater virtues.

I asked myself, what could I do now to save my marriage.

In the scripture, it is written “bring a child up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and when he gets old he will not depart from it”, thank God for my Christian parents.

It is also written in the scriptures “commit thy ways unto the Lord and He shall bring it to pass”, “I will never leave thee nor forsake thee”, and Jesus said, “in this world you will have tribulation, but do not be concerned for I have overcome the world”, he also said, “ask my father whatever you will that is according to his will and he will give it to you“.

It is also written in scripture that His will is, “what therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder”. That leaves divorce out as far as I was concerned.

The Days Apart

I left home at a very young age and decided to find a better life on my own. I come form a family of twelve children and being the second oldest, with both parents working and living on a farm with the daily chores etc., there was not a lot of time for family relationships.

I joined the US Air force at age seventeen and met my wife at the age of nineteen. we married three months later. Six weeks after our marriage ceremony I was shipped over seas where I was joined by my wife six months later.

Six months after my wife arrived in England I was shipped to Izmir Turkey and joined by her six weeks later. She was pregnant at the time and 3 months later I sent her back to the sates to have our first son Clayton Jr.

Clayton was six months old when I was discharged and returned home.

When I returned to the United States, I got a job selling auto parts and for the next fifteen years I traveled several states and spent most of the week days on the road, separated from my wife and children.

Loneliness was no stranger to me, or so I thought.

However, I do not have words to express the loneliness I felt when separated from my wife with divorce pending as a reality. When the scripture says, “What God has joined together, let not man put asunder”, I think the proper understanding of the term “put asunder”, is “let not man tear or rip apart“. While we were separated, it seemed that half of my very being was ripped apart and separated from me.

Hind Site is 20/20

Inside the covers of this book are the thoughts that went through my mind as I struggled with the battle of the flesh, the world and Satan himself, constantly being reminded of Jesus mentioning “O ye of little faith”, “find it all Joy when confronted with tribulation”, “everything that happens to those that love the lord is for their best”, “commit thy ways unto the Lord and He shall bring it to pass” and “ ask whatever you will of my Father that is according to His will and he will bring it to pass”.

Does God keep His word?

Is He faithful as He claims?

The answer is yes

On March 15, 2006 We celebrated our 50th Wedding Anniversary

The truth of the matter is that we all are human and tend to forget and or take for granted the necessity of considering the needs and wants of others are just as important if not more so than our own.

This is especially important when it comes to married life and family matters.

See a small excerpt of what's inside the book below:

A Family

We started a family, what fun you can see
how God is blessing, both you and me

God's given us children that do laugh and play
they bring to us joy in a special way

Some boys and some girls these little ones be
to share in our lives our love don't you see

They're still with us now and in their houses we see
grandchildren are growing from our family tree

Some little, some big, some short and some tall
we get such a blessing from one and from all

Thank God up in heaven for all that He's done
give Him thanks for these blessings, each and every one

If we look to the future we might even see
some great grandchildren for you and for me

Clay

Separation's Misery and Strife

I don't know why my darling He put me in your life
I know that I have caused you much misery and strife

I ask you to forgive me and I know not what you'll say
I only hope the pain I've caused will quickly go away

I have been alone for weeks now and I can plainly see
God's taken out His stretching rod and is truly stretching me

I wish my darling Betty that I had words to say
How truly sorry I am to have hurt you in this way

I ask for your forgiveness and to please dear understand
I am not an angel, I'm just a simple sinful man

I've walked with you my darling down through life's crooked streets
It seems to me that most of life's obstacles we've beat

So please my dearest Betty don't give up the ground we've gained
Please let me help and comfort you and rid us of this pain

I know now how I've hurt you, I did not know it then
I fully understand now and I can make amends

Don't be too hard hearted and destroy all we have built
Please come and help me get through this pain and guilt

You know I really love you, I tried to tell you every day
I know that we together can be happy come what may

I know there'll be some trials and troubles in this land
I also know to together we can win dear, hand in hand

Together we can both win, apart, neither one of us wins nor our children or grand children.

Clay

These rough and Broken hands

To Touch you

These hands of mine you said one day
Make you feel safe in every way

To guard protect and hold you
Makes a man of me you know

And when I touch you darling
My very soul does glow

When they are rough and clumsy
Forgive the things they've done

Because somewhere outside my dear
The gauntlet they've just run

When we get old and feeble
And we surely will

God gave them to me darling
To help you up life's hill

Clay

What you will find inside this book are the reflections of our life for forty three years of marriage and what I discovered about myself, my wife and family that I had overlooked and taken for granted.

Whether you are happily married or have problems in you relationship I think you will find it very enlightening.

It may even bring both tears and laughter as well as some past reflections of your own life during your reading.

In any event I think you will enjoy it.

May God Bless you and your family.

Clayton

I have written 2 books that I would like to give you free of charge, or a donation of any amount. Their value is $29.90.

See them below:

Book Sells for $14.95

About the struggles of Married Life

exe format

Book Sells for $14.95

An Insiders Guide To Buying Home Improvements

PDF format

The reason we are giving them Free of charge and asking for a donation (your choice) is that our home improvement business of 17 years is no longer providing myself and my wife enough funds to live on.

We also just found out that my wife has stage 4 lung cancer. The Chemo co-pay with our insurance is $750 per treatment. (16-18 Treatments coming up)

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Thanks,

God Bless you and your family.

Clayton and Betty Mekelburg

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